Archive for March, 2012

Where did all this hate come from?

Posted: March 30, 2012 in culture, justice, Race
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If you look at the news or have any kind of social awareness there seems to be an enormous flood of racially motivated stories. From Trayvon Martin to the Obama Re-Nig bumper stickers it seems that under the surface there has been this sleeping volcano of hate and prejudice that has finally erupted and spilled over onto the national scene. It can be trivial such as people’s reactions to black characters in the Hunger Games or it can be deadly such as the burning of a young Caucasian man in Kansas

The question that needs to be asked is “Where did all of this hate come from?” Some people think that asking for justice to be done in the Trayvon Martin death is provoking racism and hate but I doubt that one incident could trigger such a barrage of venomous hatred. I believe it’s because America has issues that still need to be dealt with. Many have mistaken MLK’s dream into being blind to racial inequality. Don’t bring it up and it will go away. Well it hasn’t. It’s been here all along like the slowly growing contempt between two spouses and suddenly one incident….just one little incident has unleashed the pent up fury of both sides. All because for years we have not been able to deal with the truth. This country was founded on racism and just winning a victory for civil rights is not going to solve the problem. Racism has been deeply embedded in our economics, politics, media, entertainment, and education since this country’s inception. South Africa had its Truth and Recomciliation commission but where is ours?

To not deal with the problem shows how much we greatly underestimate the human proclivity towards sin and hatred. It shows that we are still living in the failed enlightenment creed of progress, progress, progress. But progress can never happen if we do not realize the depth of the problem and the depth of the problem is us. One ancient writer summed it up like this:

They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt;
there is none who does good,
not even one. (Psalm 14:3 ESV)

It is in our nature to hate each other. To dislike each other because of difference. To grab at power by manipulating those who don’t fit in. It is an old story but it continues to gain new life throughout history. One of the ways we can stop it is by confronting the awful bitter honest truth about what has already been going on in this country. Because although civil rights and political correctness held it in check the hearts of many have not changed (just take a look at YouTube, Twitter, or Facebook). Where did all this hate come from? It’s been there all long.

Trayvon Martin and the complex layers of racism pt 3

Posted: March 28, 2012 in culture, justice, personal, Race
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It was 4:30am in the morning and the air was crisp. The droning of early morning commuters passed me by as I made my way to work the 5:00am shift. It seemed like an ordinary Tuesday morning as I made my way down Penn Ave to Trader Joe’s. There was nothing that stood out as the streets remained mostly lonely and quiet. Until….until I came upon the loud alarm coming from a warehouse. Then I realized where I was. I was still in a country where people would on sight judge me to be a criminal because of the color of my skin. My stomach began twisting in knots as I also remembered I was wearing a hoodie. I almost froze but necessity made me continue walking. My mind raced as I debated whether to run or just keep walking. Compromising between the two I walked as fast as I could past the Coffee Tree Roasters and the Google offices. I was afraid for my life and I definitely had reason considering the current racial climate of this country

I am a husband, a father of two children, a former missionary and pastor, and a seminary graduate but the color of my skin and my choice of clothing makes that non existent to many in this society

This is the legacy of racism and I live it every day. In the midst of it all I cry out to a God who doesn’t look on the outward appearance but at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). A God who is able to make “justice roll down like rivers and righteousness like a mighty stream” (Amos 5:24)

Further Reading:

Sinead O Connor weighs in on Trayvon Martin killing

Racist views of Trayvon Martin killing

Mourning Trayvon Martin and legacy of White Silence

Trayvon Martin and White Christian Leader’s response

Trayvon Martin and the complex layers of racism pt 2

Posted: March 23, 2012 in culture, justice, Race
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There are several reasons why I say this incident portrays the many complex layers of racism in this country:

First off, George Zimmerman is Hispanic. When people hear of racism they usually think of a white man committing acts of oppression against blacks. Once again, if we go with the idea of racism that we usually have in mind then this incident is not racist. Yet racism rears its ugly head in the fact that a Hispanic man (a community that has been historically discriminated against) is suspicious of a young African American male simply because he is a young African American male

It gets more complex because the phone calls never mention race. There are no slurs or insults. No Kkk code words or Neo nazi jargon. Just a man trying to “defend” his neighborhood against a young African American male. But why??? He had a bag of skittles and a cellphone in his hand….

This killing highlights Florida’s current racial and socioeconomic situation. It is interesting that this incident happened in Florida; a state with escalating racial tension among the African American and Hispanic and Caribbean populations. It shows that although racism is founded on a binary proposition (black vs. white) it is inclusive of multiple parties in our pluralistic 21st century America.

The police have not arrested George Zimmerman. This is problematic given the profiling and harassment that African Americans experience at the hands of many police. It gives the impression that Trayvon Martin a seventeen year old African American male is expendable and George Zimmerman a Hispanic man who many believed to be white is above the law.

This all leads me to one of the biggest invisible factors in this situation. Our society’s perception of young African American males. While George Zimmerman was clearly over zealous (some might even say mentally unstable) the fact that Trayvon Martin was seen as dangerous to the community with a bag of Skittles and a bottle of tea is due to the racism that is inextricably tied to this country. Some may say its the fault of young African American men. They need to dress differently. They need to stop committing crime. I think those are viable options for any African American male to survive in this country. However I doubt that will solve anything. Why? Because if you look at the history of this country African Americans have been perceived and treated as expendable, dangerous, and subhuman. No matter what kind of clothing we have had on we have been perceived as criminals and monsters; the dangerous “other” since the founding of this nation. Why? Because the true definition of racism is not only “the intentional actions of a person or a group designed to dehumanize others because of the man made social construct of race” but also “the beliefs used to justify the man made social construct of race by creating perceptions of others as inhuman”. This is the system that caused two individuals to collide on the night of February 26th, 2012. It is a system that pressures me on a daily basis and it continues to divide our nation and make it less than what it could be.

To be continued…..

Trayvon Martin and the complex layers of racism pt 1

Posted: March 21, 2012 in culture, justice, Race
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We’ve all seen the headlines. We have heard the 911 calls. We know the arguments for self defense. We all shake our heads in disbelief at what happened to Trayvon Martin.

The question is Why do we shake our heads in disbelief? This is not the first time that the cruel treatment of an African American youth has garnered national media attention and public outrage? It is not the first time that there have been racial overtones surrounding the incident. The name of Latasha Harlinsand the recent Jordan Miles incident in Pittsburgh come to mind. Was it because of the victims age? Was our shock magnified because of the harmless items he was carrying at the time (Skittles and a cellphone)?

Whatever your reasons for outrage and disbelief Trayvon Martin suffered a tragic death that was more than likely fueled by racism and that is the reason why I shake my head. Notice that I did not say that Trayvon was murdered by a racist but that his murder was fueled by racism. Most of us when we think of racism think of the intentional actions of a person or a group designed to dehumanize others because of the man made social construct of race. Images of the KKK burning crosses and skinhead neo-nazis with Doc Marten boots are conjured up in our imagination. Neighborhoods creating housing covenants and cops committing police brutality is what we search for when we are on the hunt for racism.

With this type of thinking we are bound to come up short in our search for racism. Why? Because racism is not a “who” but a “what”. It is more than just intentional acts of a person or a group designed to dehumanize because of the man made social construct of race. It is a “ism”. A system. A thing with a life of its own. It’s in our commerce, our government, our religion, and our media. It doesn’t need a person with malicious intentions. It just needs someone who is unaware of the power of this system to influence their actions. The days of slavery and segregation are over but racism lives on. It has lived on to cut down young lives in their prime. Young lives like those of Trayvon Martin’s who unwillingly caught up in a system that still dehumanizes and threatens the flourishing of humanity in one of the most prosperous nations on earth. This senseless killing is a window into the complex layers of racism and show why more often than not we mistake racism for a racist.

To be continued…..

How I found freedom from pornography

Posted: March 15, 2012 in advice/how to, culture, faith, gender, justice, overcoming obstacles, personal, personal development, sex, spirituality
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This post is dedicated to all the beautiful women who have helped me to be the man I am today; who loved me beyond what their natural eyes could see. Celebrating Women’s History Month.

It started in grade school. Just a peek through supposedly closed eyes into the lurid details of a Hollywood sex scene. No harm right (Wrong!)Boys will be boys. But wait…after several more peeks and several years later friends are bringing magazines to school and I am shocked and seduced into looking at men and women reveal something intended to be private for the public. Not just once but multiple times. My curiosity drove me to look again and again but it provoked no appetite to know the reasons a young woman would bare her body in a magazine for a gawking lust filled strangers to see.

Years after I would struggle with the enticement to view not only women’s bodies but women’s bodies performing as objects for men’s twisted fantasies. And this is the saddest part about porn and what makes it essentially vile and wrong is that it turns a woman into an object. Never in all of those times that pornography lured and enthralled me did I think: this woman on this page…on this screen…is a person. A person with emotions and intellect; joys and fears. And ultimately not only did I dehumanize her but I dehumanized myself. By seeing her as an object I limited my capacity to love. I began to see not just women but all people in terms of what they could give me. In short my ability to connect relationally was seriously short circuited.

Objectifying women is not limited to only the sexual. I realized how much this thought pattern had invaded my mind even more so once I got married. To see my wife as an object-sexual, emotional, domestic-and not as a person is a result of years of emotional detachment and wallowing in a pit of selfishness.

Many times I tried to quit cold turkey and through sheer willpower to resist the temptations to look at porn but there was no breakthrough until one night while reading my bible I realized this: it’s not about resisting temptation as much as it’s about loving your neighbor. Basic stuff right but most of the time this teaching-this mandate from Christ is often excluded from our sexuality. This is how it works in my own life. Every woman I come in contact with (whether offline, on screen, or online) is my neighbor for whom Christ died. Do to others what you want to be done to you. Every woman who is involved in pornography is somebody’s daughter. I know I don’t want people to treat my daughter as a sexual object.

It’s not just about the practice of viewing pornography. It’s about the objectification of women. Both sins of commission because one huge sin of omission: not loving. Basic but it really is about love and love can free you from anything.

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40 ESV)

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8 ESV)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7, 8 ESV)

What Julie and Julia taught me about my relationship with God pt 2

Posted: March 14, 2012 in bible, faith, inspiration, personal, personal development, spirituality
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In my last post I unpacked what I learned from the movie Julie and Julia about my relationship with God. As I continue to think about it more I get more heated because of what a disservice and injustice we do when we describe relationship with God in such insanely ridiculous ways. God is not our cosmic buddy or our women’s tea conversation partner. He is wholly other.

In saying that, my intention is not to dis and dismiss the supernatural but to actually elevate it. Many times we portray relating to God with such casual familiarity that those with superior B.S. antennae can see right through it like superman x ray vision. I actually think the amazing supernatural factor in having a relationship with God is not that we can sit down and have a chat with him like we can with our ace at the cafe or the pub. The amazing thing is that this wholly other person-God-chooses to not only dwell in us but to work through us.

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12, 13 ESV)

That is what is amazing about our relationship with God. He has chosen us to partner with him in the work of renovating the world inch by inch. It’s on par with us choosing an ant to paint a painting to rival the Sistine chapel. We see a glimpse of it in the journey of a young woman who dared to believe she could cook like Julia Child.

The prophet Isaiah declared the profound and utter difference between humanity and God:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8, 9 ESV)

John showed how God bridged that gap:

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14 ESV)

Imitating the Word made flesh is nothing like having a cosmic buddy. It is far removed from the sentiment on the semi-famous t shirt that do emphatically states “Jesus is my homeboy”. In fact, I make way more mistakes than a young woman in new York trying to imitate a master of French cuisine and along the way I see the great mystery and awe of a God who”became what we are in order to make us what he is himself.”-St. Irenaeus of Lyons. Now that’s the kind of relationship I can get into :)

What Julie and Julia taught me about my relationship with God

Posted: March 9, 2012 in advice/how to, bible, faith, personal, personal development, spirituality
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Christians say it all the time “It’s not about rules. It’s about relationship.” Many people have asked me over the years “How is your relationship with God?” Most of the time I feel quite put off by the question and don’t really know how to answer it. It’s not like we sit down at the kitchen table and have casual chatter over breakfast like me and my wife. If I had that kind of back and forth with God you would think I was nuts because….he’s invisible! No matter how many ways you slice it having a relationship with God just like the one I have with Yvette is impossible ( I am not negating the possibility of God’s guidance or hearing his audible voice only the frequency and clarity which most of us will agree is quite minimal)

But what if a relationship with God was never meant to be like the kind you have with a spouse or friend ? What if having a relationship with God is qualitatively different? This dawned on me while watching the movie Julie and Julia. While I think it was a gem of a movie I also believe it can give us a framework on how a relationship with God (an invisible intangible being) is supposed to work.

In the movie Julie and Julia a young woman named Julie is inspired to cook every recipe in Julia Child’s cookbook Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Along the way she encounters trials, disappointments, joys, and victories while becoming closer to Julia Child as she pursues this discipline. Throughout the movie we see her become changed and transformed by following in the footsteps of someone who is not around. And the movie begins to hint that although these women lived worlds apart they are connected. But how??? Julie connected to Julia by doing what she did. Although it was a different time and place she cooked the same meals that Julia Child cooked and their relationship was based on those shared practices. In the movie Julia Child was even upset with Julie but it still did not negate the relationship that was formed through those shared practices. In fact Julie was so connected and moved by imitating Julia Child’s cooking that she offered butter (worship) at Child’s Smithsonian exhibit.

And before you think I’m way out there using movies as my Bible let me go to the text to cap it all off:

And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. (1 John 2:3 ESV)

whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked. (1 John 2:6 ESV)

Julie got closer to Julia by cooking her recipes and imitating her practices. In the same way we get closer to God by doing his commandments and imitating his practices. Walking in the same way that he walked while here on earth.

An update on me and the fam

Posted: March 6, 2012 in inspiration, personal, personal development, sabbath, spirituality
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Blog! Oh how I have missed u blog. U have constantly been on my mind and have been the muse for all sorts of ideas and creativity. Although I had to pause and take a break from u in order to concentrate on some other things. No disrespect but a brotha gotta get his grind on.

Well….I’m now reentering the blogosphere and wanted to give those of you who so desired an update on me and the fam:

1. It’s been four months here in Pittsburgh and one of the mildest winters ever. I think God sent a memo to mother nature to go easy on this Cali boy. It’s been snowing but we have not been visited by any blizzards.

Right now we r keeping ourselves busy with multiple things as we sort out what is next for us. Yvette is now being trained as a Jazzercise instructor and is making progress towards her fitness goals. I am working at Trader Joes and gearing up to apply to schools for a PhD in theology, religion, or related field. I am also making progress with my fitness goals and have lost 12 lbs since late December. Kaydon and Syenna are growing fast and love to go to the library and Grandma’s house (she lets them watch tv :)

Right now we are definitely in need of prayer for direction but underneath all that is a greater need for healing. We realize that over the years we have accumulated so many failures and disappointments that it casts a negative shadow of doubt on any decision we make. Trusting God now is a matter of committing our will and standing on sure ground instead of a surge of excitement that leads to new and unexpected places. Some call this maturity but no matter how u slice it maturity hurts.

2. On another note I started this blog in order to take a break and get my head together. I realize how foolish that was. My head is ok. It is my heart that needs a tune up. With that being said I will be posting more frequently on my big three subjects: faith, culture, and justice. I will still post about random things I am learning and give updates on the fam but for the most part. It’s faith, culture, and justice. These r the words that encompass what I love to speak and write about and I definitely have some new perspectives in those areas. Real talk. I gotta bounce but stay tuned for a new blog look and some new posts coming your way