Archive for the ‘goals’ Category

Five lessons I learned writing the first draft of His Story, Our Story

Posted: November 29, 2012 in art, focus, goals, inspiration, life hack, overcoming obstacles, personal
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It has been a very exciting journey to go from a random thought in my mind to actually pursuing writing an ebook called His Story, Our Story I am on a very steep learning curve and still am learning about marketing and all the business/technical aspects of writing. In the process of going from idea to reality and writing my first draft I have learned many lessons here are five of them:

All it takes is a page a day

Writing a book of any size can be daunting. I have always put it off because I was afraid I wouldn’t finish or I would end up writing until I was an AARP member. I intentionally started with a small ebook because of this challenge but I learned a secret. You can do a lot if you just write a page a day. If you write a page a day you can at least have 30 pages in a month, 90 pages in 3 months, and 180 pages in six months. On and on it goes until…Voila you have something to publish. Just start with one page a day and usually you actually write more than that. There’s something about that bare minimum that leave no room for failure and unlimited potential to write your heart out.

Write and then revise

Not only is one page a day doable but one crappy page a day is doable. I think these words should be posted on every author’s walls: Write and then revise. I got so much momentum going by just sitting in front of the computer and typing away. Some of it was horrible. Well guess what? Now in the editing stages what was considered horrible has now been revised into something readable.

Make this your life

You have to focus. This is where the rubber hits the road and separates the men from the boys and the dreamers from the doers. Throughout the time writing my first draft I was distracted by numerous things. Some of them good. Some of them not so good. All of them keeping me from my best. So here’s how I eliminated the distractions. I woke up not to go to work or to take care of all the other things that I had to do. I woke up to do what I wanted to do: write. I had my laptop set up so before I left the house I wrote. I made it my life.

Involve others in the early stages

The one thing that changed the game for me was letting people know what I was doing. Good old fashioned pride took care of the rest. It started with my wife. Then a couple of close friends. Then I let social media do its thing and then I had an obligation. Not only to myself but to the people who wanted to see me succeed. That’s some powerful motivation

Save your work

Here is the big lesson that I am learning now as I am putting the finishing touches on everything. While revising chapters I realized that some pages and paragraphs were missing. I was sure that I wrote them. What happened? I forgot to press save. Save your work is my next most important mantra. If I would have saved my work I wouldn’t have to go and remember what I actually wrote or come up with something new. Wasted time.

So those are my five lessons. What are some lessons you have learned in the writing process? Do you have any mantras or guidelines that keep you focused and creatively pursuing your art?

My Incredible Year of Transformation!

Posted: January 13, 2012 in change, goals, inspiration, overcoming obstacles, personal, personal development
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There are certain years that we mark off as milestones. What immediately comes to mind are the years we turn sixteen or twenty one or forty come to mind. They all mark a transition point. One phase of life is ending and another is beginning. They are the thresholds we walk through to start living life in a different way. I remember my first year out of high school. It was a time of being on a steep learning curve. It was the time where I encountered the real world and the real world almost ate me alive. I experienced my first real love and my first real brush with the law and it sobered me up. It gave my life a little weight and transformed me.

Sometimes we experience these milestones and transitions along the same time table as everyone else but sometimes it’s not about being on a certain chronological time table with the rest of our peers or what society expects i.e. twenty first or fortieth birthday. Sometimes it’s just about what God is doing in us and with us at this moment; in this season. Right now I am experiencing one of those seasons; one of those moments. I am thirty four and my life is changing right before my eyes. Some of these changes include:

I just lost 12 lbs

Gaining a whole new perspective on relating to God (writing about that soon)

Taking actual steps toward writing a book (one chapter down :)

This is turning out to be a year of transformation and it has not all been meticulously planned. I just took advantage of what God gave me: a church that closed, a move to another city, and a need for rest. What has been a moment of fatigue, disappointment, and frustration has also turned out to be one of the best seasons of my life. No it didn’t start on January 1st but sometime around October. I am not on anyone’s timetable but my own. This is my incredible year of transformation.

5 Lessons for the New Year I learned while shaving my head…

Posted: December 31, 2011 in advice/how to, change, goals, overcoming obstacles, personal development, Uncategorized
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For the last 3 weeks I have been shaving my head in order to save money. It makes no sense to pay $10 for somebody to do something so simple. What I didn’t realize is how much doing this simple task would teach me lessons about myself and life. I want to offer the thoughts to take with you into the New Year.

Believe in Yourself

For the longest time I have been contemplating shaving my head instead of going to a barber. I just didn’t get around to it because I am not the most dexterous person on the planet and imagined myself really doing a crummy job. This is something that has been a barrier to reaching other goals as well and it was only until a few weeks ago that I decided to believe that I could do it. This was such a breakthrough because I had been stuck thinking that I could not accomplish such a simple task. It was a revelation because it revealed how much I didn’t believe in myself for some of the other larger goals and tasks that I wanted to complete in life. I mean if shaving my own head created so much fear in me then what other things were being postponed through fear. I want to do a lot of big things and I never realized how much those were so far away from being done because I could not even believe in myself to do a lot of small things. Thousands of people do it every day but in this simple act I received the knowledge that allows us as humans to live out our best and brightest potential: Believe in yourself!

Take action and fear disappears

As soon as I ran the clippers across the top of my head I realized there was no turning back. The deed was done. You know what else was done. My fear. It vanished the moment I began shaving my head. The reason: Once you take action then you do not have time to be afraid. There is no space to allow fear to grip you. You have already begun executing the task and taking steps toward the goal. The fear that once held you back is now behind you. This means that the best thing we can do when it comes to seeing our goals and dreams reached is take that first step. Whatever it is. Get on the treadmill. It doesn’t matter how fast you go just get on it! Start typing. It doesn’t matter if you have 300 more pages to go and none of it makes sense. Just do it! Go without cigarettes for one day. Just take that first step and watch the fear disappear.

Always get another perspective

As I was cutting I could not see the whole of my head. There was a point where I needed to get the hair from behind my ears and on the back of my head and I had no help. I tried my hardest to just go with it and shave blindly hoping that if I went over it enough times then I would have done a pristine job. After a while I thought I should just go to bed I’m sure I shaved it off and made it even with the other parts (laziness!). Then I stopped and said what is making you not just ask Yvette for help. So I thought about it and I realized that underneath it all: I wanted to live in denial. I wanted to choose to believe in something that I did not have any evidence for when I could have received the necessary feedback from someone right near me. Sometimes this can happen with larger goals. We can choose to believe we are doing a great job but never get feedback from those closest to us. It is always good to get another perspective. So go see a trainer, a counselor, a respected friend or mentor and get the necessary feedback you need to reach your goals.

Some mistakes are easy to fix and some aren’t

As with all of life some mistakes are easy to fix and some aren’t. The first few times I shaved my head I did an excellent job. I always had to go to Yvette to figure out if I missed some spots or if it was even. These mistakes were easy to fix and I just needed to go over them with the clippers a few more times. On the other hand the third time I shaved my head I actually shaved my skin off and had a sore in the front of my head. It is still there right now and I have had to endure looking like  I have a patch of hair in the front of my head. This is a mistake that is not easy to fix. I have to wait until my skin heals and it has been painful just looking at it every morning :(

Sometimes in life there are easy course corrections we can make: I have been eating a few too many sweets. Cut back. I spent a little more than I should have this Christmas. Ok save up in January. Work a second job for a few months. There are other mistakes that cannot be easily fixed: I have been eating a few too many sweets for years and now I have diabetes. I have loads of credit card debt and school debt. I have been smoking for years and I have to get checked out for lung cancer. These aren’t easy fixes. That’s not to say that these things can’t be fixed it just means that it will take a longer and a greater amount of money and labor to fix them if they can be fixed at all. Right now is the best time to concentrate on doing the easy fixes so you don’t have to deal with the bigger problems down the road. That’s why I’m eating better and exercising-not as a New Year’s resolution but as a life decision-so I don’t have to fix a difficult mistake later.

You always get another chance

As I look at my hair grow back and my skin heal I am realizing that life is so generous to us. No matter how many mistakes you make you have numerous opportunities to course correct. I realize these days how much I was blinded by envy and ambition when I was younger and I squandered the early years of my marriage. But I have another chance and I am taking advantage of it by loving and enjoying my wife. I could have been more disciplined in my eating habits and avoided a growing gut and a few trips to the doctor. But I still have the chance to be healthy. Wherever you are right now in pursuit of your goals be grateful that you have the opportunity to pursue them. You may think it’s too late but you always have another chance. As long as there is breath in your lungs you can make decisions that lead to wholeness and success. 2012 is going to be a great year for taking advantage of the opportunities that life has given you.

Happy New Year!

No resolutions for 2012

Posted: December 28, 2011 in advice/how to, focus, goals, life hack, overcoming obstacles, personal development
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It’s funny how comments from strangers can make you think. You know the random comments. The comments that stick with you even days later because underneath what is so random is a kernel of truth. The other day just before leaving the gym one of the regulars asked me if I was “puttin in work.” I immediately answered that I just did. I felt good about my workout and the fact that I was following through with my goal of getting in better shape (soon I will post on what that looks like). What really stood out to me was his reply: Make sure it lasts after Christmas. When he said it I was struck with the fact that this goal of getting in shape was not made for the New Year. It was made in October during our time at the Vineyard Pastor’s Sabbatical Retreat. It was made not just for the New Year but for a new life.

I think sometimes talk of new year’s resolutions gets old because it is based on the year and not based on our lives. It is a resolution that ultimately fails because it is time bound and not life bound. Think about it. We resolve to lose weight and eat healthier every year. We buy bran muffins and asparagus. We get gym memberships and new workout clothes but by February and sometimes the second week of January we are back to supersizin it on a regular basis. Why? It is because our desired change is based on New Year’s resolutions and not New Life decisions.

I do not have any resolutions for 2012. I am already full speed ahead with my goals for life:

  • I have started my workout plan
  • I have already begun to write my book and am about to finish the first chapter in a few days.

I am making progress because these things come from a place deep inside of me and not from an external clock or ritualized calendar. They are simply what I want and I have decided to go after them. So no resolutions for me in 2012. Just a continuing of putting my hand to the plow and not looking back.

Instead of focusing on resolutions this year Here’s a better way to see change happen in your life:

  • Sit down with a paper and pen
  • Take some space and time to let some of your deepest desires surface.
  • Write down the one that is most important right now
  • Whatever that thing is pursue it with all your might.

That’s what is driving me and motivating me to go to the gym in rain and snow. I love this method because it makes the change about you and what you really want and not some moralistic guilt ridden promise that you made to yourself simply because the earth moved around the sun one more time! So no resolutions in 2012 for me. Just some awesome life decisions.

Finished my thesis….Now What???

Posted: December 15, 2011 in goals, personal, personal development, sabbath, Uncategorized
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Look for the white blaze!

Last week after months of blood, sweat, and tears I opened my Fuller account. Attached a file to an email for my faculty mentor and pressed send. It was the culmination of 4 years of assignments, a program change, moving across the city and then across the country. After numerous interviews and edits and revisions I finally sent in my Master of Arts in Intercultural Studies writing project.

Consequently all this week that’s all I have been talking about. I can’t help but let people know that I am finished. But after I let them know the inevitable question comes up: What’s next? Personally I am just satisfied resting in the glory of my accomplishments. I have learned that I need to rest in the present moment before jumping into something else wholeheartedly. And as I am resting I am planning and thinking and preparing.

“What’s next?” you ask. I am planning on hiking a section of the Appalachian trail here in Pennsylvania otherwise known as Rocksylvania to the many hikers who have conquered the terrain and paid the price with their boots. Why do I want to hike the trail?

3 reasons:

1. I have always wanted to hike the most beautiful trails in every part of the world. This is just a warm up. I have so many on my list (simien mountains national park in Ethiopia, the japanese alps, samaria gorge on the island of Crete, the campostela in spain, Cinque Terre in Italy)

2. It is a good motivator to get in shape. The last hike I went on took 8 hrs instead of the standard 4 because I was huffing and puffing.

3. Seeing that I am in a season of learning self care it is a good next goal that has nothing to do with anyone else but me.

So that’s my next goal. My next step is hitting up Planet Fitness tomorrow and hitting the treadmill and the stepper.

Also I am up in the air on which section of the trail I should hike. Maybe you can help me.

This one: Clark Creek to Swatara Gap

or This one: Blue Mountain Ridge

or This one: Fox Gap to Delaware Water Gap

I want something challenging but also exciting. Not just boring rocks.

Oh yeah one more thing. If you are in the Central/Eastern Pennsylvania area in late April to early May then please come and join me! (more…)

Life in the Pitt: Week 4 (Church Shopping?)

Posted: November 22, 2011 in change, goals, personal, spirituality, Uncategorized
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For previous Life in the Pitt posts click here

The very term “church shopping” leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When I say it I feel transported into the land of the consumer where the prices are low and the options are limitless. Can I really customize my church experience? Can I really customize spiritual community?

At the same time that is the reality of our American religious landscape. Due to the fact that there is no state church and free market capitalism holds sway we are bombarded with choices when it comes to what faith community we will “belong” to? For some reason it feels as though belonging is cheapened when we have so many choices and such a penchant for customization. It explains why searching for a church has come to be called “church shopping”.

And then there is the actual experience itself. I now have a new sensitivity to visitors of churches now that I have been a visitor. It can be overwhelming. For the first three weeks you get more attention than a 2 month old. I know people mean well but sometimes it seems contrived. Ultimately I know this kind of attention won’t last long. I always wondered what people thought when they came to one of our gatherings….

So far we have gone to a few churches in the area and there is one that really stands out to me: Vineyard Southwest. We only visited Vineyard Southwest once but it is growing on me. That’s because 1) the pastor said “sin cooties” in his sermon (as in stop acting like hanging out with people who are not Christians will give u the sin cooties) and 2) they came by last Saturday and gave us chocolate chunk cookies. Not just chips but chunks! What more could a consumer ask for?

My 1 Year Sabbatical Goals

Posted: November 19, 2011 in goals, Uncategorized
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Do NothingYes I know Sabbatical and Goals don’t seem to go together. As paradoxical as that may sound there is a good reason for having goals for a sabbath. As obvious as it sounds, a year is a long time to just sit there. But there are other reasons as well.

  • You do not want to end up doing things that you should not be doing. I do not want to end up running around like a chicken with my head cut off and in the same tired and stressed place. I can avoid this by having boundaries and avoiding the activities that would disqualify this time as a sabbath
  • You want to end up doing the things that you want to be doing. I want to take time during this year to follow my heart and let me passions emerge to the surface after being buried for so many years. Already my passion for music and art has come back with a vengeance.
  • Sabbath does not=inertia. From ancient times to now the Sabbath had a purpose. The weekly sabbath was a day to honor God and rest from work. Yes even resting from work is a goal.

So my boundaries for this sabbath are simple: no long term commitments to make money and no long term commitments to full time ministry. To put it simply I will not take on a second job, start a business, or work as a pastor of any kind. Really simple. If someone asks me to speak or preach or write something then that is fine but I do not want to enter into any role that has constant deadlines that are connected to my income.

My goals for this sabbath are as follows:

  • Participate in a workout program
  • Practice a contemplative spiritual discipline (breath prayer)
  • Hike a section of the Appalachian trail
  • Practice a spiritual discipline with my wife Yvette
  • Write in blog and work on my book in order to improve my writing and learn the craft.

So those are my “goals” for this year of sabbath. What goals would you have for a year long sabbath?